Finding the right person can be a challenge. In order to find Mr. Right, the single woman will have to meet many unsuitable candidates. Being open minded and giving chances to men is important. Nevertheless, there are certain men and situations that you should avoid. Be aware of manipulative techniques that guys use with one aim in mind: to get you in bed.
Meeting manipulators in bars, pubs and nightclubs
What is the chance for a single woman to meet her prince charming in a bar or a nightclub? Even though you may occasionally hear of a successful relationship that started in a pub, the chances of a single woman to meet Mr. Right in such an environment are quite slim. However, having fun and meeting new people in public places can be used as a way to increase your social circle and encounter single men.
Nevertheless, beware of the fact that most of the men will be intoxicated and will be in a flirtatious mood. There is nothing wrong with chatting, dancing and enjoying a night out, but know when to draw the line. When tempted to give a chance to a guy that you meet in a bar/nightclub, ask yourself the following questions and observe his behavior:
- How much do I know about this man?
- Is he a player who tries his luck on every girl?
- What does his body language reveal about him?
- How can I find more information about him: married status, maturity level and work?
Manipulation techniques used in dating
It is very hard to sense when you have been manipulated unless you know the techniques that the culprit is using. Often, the typical manipulator will use the following methods:
- False pretenses
- Charming personality
- Offering fake jobs as an excuse to see women
- Seducing techniques
- Not taking “no” for an answer
- Ticks such as lowering voice, using a calm tone, and rephrasing the same question
Persuasion as a tool of manipulation
One of the strongest techniques that a manipulator uses is persuasion. The information manipulation theory of McCornack (1992) provides an effective way of checking whether the information that you obtain is valid or misleading and aimed at deceiving you. The theory evokes the idea that there is evidence of manipulation when one or more of the four maxims are violated:
Quantity: The expectation that no information has been left out
Quality: The expectation that the information is truthful
Relation: Relevant information
Manner: The way things are said
When having a conversation with a suspected manipulator, try to run a quick checklist on whether what you hear is truthful, accurate, and relevant. Furthermore, observe the manner that the information was delivered to you.
Often, a good manipulator’s techniques will be difficult to detect. Nevertheless, understanding how the manipulator thinks and acts will help you detect his methods before it is too late.